Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
