Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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