i would punch a child for taco bell
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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