Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
