Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
