I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
