there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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