So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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