omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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