I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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