guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
