C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
