pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
