Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
