He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
