Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
