I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
