Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
