I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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