so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
