I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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