the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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