Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
