I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
