Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
There are leaves in my underwear?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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