Acid is not a monday night drug
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
