Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
