I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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