I showed him my bush... on skype.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
