they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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