she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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