The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
