The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
