I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
