those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
