Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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