Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
