**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Swine flu. Run for my life!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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