Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
