you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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