just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
