I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
