I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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