This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
