She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize