Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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