i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
