It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
