i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i think my cat just said my name.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
