i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
