a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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