He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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