question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize