when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
