He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
