Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
