piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
