shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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