the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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