Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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