either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
