Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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