I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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