i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize