It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
