why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
