Duck Duck Cougar?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
