He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
