pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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