he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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