4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You just made me feel so damn special
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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