I skipped work to stalk him.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
