accomplished twins. life is a go
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
