Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I need water and some morals
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
